Whats accepteble, what isn't ?

When that guy came at me swinging that kitchen knife I was afraid. Thing is, I'm not sure if I can properly quantify the way I felt - crazy as it sounds it wasn't so much the prospect of my end that was frighting. (though it factored)

It was the circumstances,this man was clearly mental,and even as he came at me the thing that stands out to me most is not his slow awkward attack, but that terrified and tormented look he had on his face.

So although I too was afraid, I knew I wasn't dealing with a "killer". I was dealing with a man that was so tormented by demons that in that very moment in time and although I'd never known him or said two words to him, he was in a position where he could take my life through an unlucky strike.

It would have been a senseless death, senseless for him to kill me, and had I picked the knife up off the ground after he dropped it, it would have been senseless for me to attack him.

I got away from him, out of the building, and called the police....

-------------------------------------------

When the cops took him out of the building, I actually stood there and hesitated when they asked if I wanted to press charges...Honestly, what I was considering was that if maybe I let it go, this man would chill out,maybe see that I was a good guy, a nice guy,somebody that isn't deserving of a random knife attack...

LoL

I asked the officer if the guy was mental,perhaps off his meds...She told me,"no he's just an asshole" and "they come over here and think they can do anything they want" she being a police officer, her words were gospel---to her and the way she came off,this was just some routine bullshit in the Bronx.

So I pressed the charges,went in the next day and signed the paper...

We Are So Bad, Part 1

The war of words...

I once told my ex-gf during a fight we were having,"Your always gonna love me, with me,you can just let your hair down and be the total bitch that you are, cause I know you get tired pretending for everyone else".

Seems lately people are a little more on edge, more prone to hostility,not always the violent kind but a more subtle yet menacing verbal kind. To be blunt, we just aren't saying nice things to each other, especially when we don't agree..

This tends to play out predominately on the web where people can sit in the safety and security of there homes behind a "handle" and just spew pure venom. Blogs,forums, even online games pretty much any setting that allows one to type and publish instantly what they are thinking becomes a vessel for hate speech,ignorance and just plain rudeness.

Its so bad that sometimes when I'm riding the train (especially a crowded one)I'll just face surf and say to myself,"oh I can totally see that guy being a total dick online". Of course I have no way of knowing for certain - Its just that, we don't act in public the same way we act online.

From politics to porn,the web affords us a medium where an extreme version of who we are can come out and roam free. Only the most severe infractions get any attention or condemnation from the public.

Police Stations ,Stuffed Pizza & Zilok

Oh the places -

So, I'm sitting in a police station and its the day after my crazed neighbor tried to slice me up. Gawd, and naturally it seemed to take hours for me to give my statement, sign the charges and leave.

Meanwhile they had this 13 inch color tv set up in the waiting area,hell the cable box was bigger than the tv. There was a note on it informing that nobody is to touch the channels. behind the tv were a few desk that were occupied by uniformed but unarmed females - I figured one of them had designated the channel, and sure enough,there I was, sitting there being forced to watch Rachel Ray.

I actually met her once in New York (thats another blog)

So I'm sitting there and I have to admit I found myself strangely captivated by her undertaking of making a stuffed pizza, I don't recall the ingredients, but what she made looked really good-I wanted some...

As the show progressed Rachel brings on a guest,who apparently was well informed in new and trendy websites that are out there. I remember thinking that she was kinda odd,some of the things she pitched were even odder. However when she started talking about this website called Zilok and the idea of renting things peer to peer between you and your local neighbors. I have to admit, that sounded really cool.

Zilok is peer to peer renting that revolves around a feedback system similar to eBay. People are basically on there renting out just about anything you can think of. Of course I've included the link for you so you can go check it out for yourself.

Rent Anything online on Zilok.com

Of Snow and Knife Wielding Madmen...

Yay, my first blog of the new year - already this year is off to a fast and crazy start. For starters it seems New York is in a perpetual state of constant and unrelenting snowfall. I've mixed feelings about snowfall,this morning when I opened my window and saw that white blanket of snow,the heavy snowflakes blowing around I thought for a moment just how beautiful it all looked-then I turn away thinking to myself ,"fuck,more snow." Just like that I'm over it,just like that I want it to be summer and warm. I want to be in the park playing chess, eyeing beautiful coeds or checking out some bizarre street artist who can stick himself in a box, anywhere but couped up inside this Bronx studio.

Then there is my crazy neighbor who lives underneath of me - over the pass few months we had been engaging in a sort of hostile mores code. Whenever he felt I made to much noise above his head,he'd bang his ceiling,most of the time I'd let it slide for the sake of peace. Problem is, he has a mental problem or something, he takes any opportunity he can to bang on his walls. I've woke in the middle of the night to the sound of this guy banging and shouting. I'd always just ignore him, figuring he had a demon or something.

Things blew up yesterday though, I was sitting at my computer,haha, playing world of warcraft of all things when all of a sudden -BOOOm BOOM- the guy actually startled me so I got out of my chair and executed three insanely hard heel slams. It was loud, it was my way of saying, "really?" - "well, fuuuuuck you." That pissed him off. Only I didn't realize how crazy the guy was till about twenty minutes later when I left my apartment to go to the corner store.

I'm coming down the steps and he is standing outside his apartment, when he sees me he runs back inside and comes back with a huge kitchen knife, I turn and face him, I could not have ran if i wanted to, the building has a very stubborn electronic magnet door that sometimes lets you in and sometimes lets you out. I remember thinking, "this is bad" ,"he could kill you with tha- by then he had already taken to hard,awkward,and slow slashes at me,I backpadeled, gave him my left arm, and the blade hacked high on my shoulder but was absorbed by a combination of its own dullness,God, and my thick jacket. In fact after the second hack the knife flew harmlessly outta the guys hand.

Thats when I turned and bolted out the front door of the building which lucky for me happen to be sitting about an inch ajar with the magnet disengaged. I called the police, they came and took the idiot to jail. The cops were interesting though. The one that stands out to me was the female Hispanic officer. I swear she was right off of a TV show. She had this really unique combination of both outright charm mixed in with outright hardness-add to that a nice ass.

So here I am standing outside my apartment building shook up and afraid, and her and her partner after asking me a few questions about the guy and his description - they tell me stand at a distance away from the building, then they just proceed on into the building like "whatever". Like I just didn't tell them that there was a knife wielding madman in the building.

About fifteen minutes later they come back out of the building and they are leading the guy away in handcuffs,the male officer actually had the knife - I wondered in my mind how exactly that all went down.

The woman cop walks over to me and is basically like,please don't make me take this man to jail and you not show up in the morning to press charges...She really meant it too, apparently people don't report crime around here. The cops wanted my total reassurance that I was gonna press charges,otherwise they were simply gonna let the guy go.

Frankly,jail sucks, and had that idiot not come right at me hacking and slashing with a large kitchen knife, I would have most likely let it go. The guy clearly is a little off his rocker and needs medication...

Oh, and yeah, I killed my mage last night-five years I played WoW, last night I deleted him....

My General Sense Of Boredom ...

Hope I'm not in trouble here. I'm doing that thing I do. Its a childlike trait I confess. Like picking up a new toy,shaking it a few times,hurling it against a wall  then hobbling off in a new direction leaving a trail of drool in my wake. 

This is not good. I find that I loose interest in projects insanely fast. First its wonderful and exciting,then its great,on to "O.K." then it becomes sorta emotionless and automatic with bouts of fatigue setting in - at the very last stage I find myself looking for the exit or subconsciously trying to get myself thrown out the exit. 

In the real world people stick it out,people commit. They make something of their time that they can look back on with a sense of accomplishment, from parents to CEO's the good ones stick it out through thick and thin. They dedicate themselves.

I'm really hoping this coming new year sees me more actively exploring my potential,pushing for success both personal and career wise.


 

I Littered Yesterday, But Thoughtfully...

I was standing on the subway platform yesterday morning, waiting for the number four train to come and take me into Manhattan. It was a crisp cold morning, I was desperate for caffeine so I snagged a Pepsi in my rush to the train station..

I remember appreciating the flavor and kick from the drink,while at the same time freezing my fingers a little grasping the can.The anoucement over the PA informed me that there was a number four Manhattan bound train approaching just one minute away. By now I've wandered to the far end of the platform in a vain attempt to secure a less crowded end car,there isn't a trash can close by and I don't want to hold onto my now empty can of soda.

I noticed a payphone and sitting on top of the payphone was a brown Styrofoam cup, somebody else had been in my exact predicament and they solved the problem by making use of the payphone ledging.

The tracks started to squeal and squeek, I notice the train rounding the bin approaching, I take another glance at that payphone,stroll over and place my empty soda can somewhat next to the coffee. In my minds eye I could already see the city worker with gloves,a broom and dustpan clearing off that payphone.

The train pulled in, the doors opened and as I boarded. I wondered how much exactly does a trash collector for the city make? Maybe I did a good thing, I'm helping to sustain our struggling economy. The city will pay somebody to clean up after me, this individual will in turn provide for his needs including family,bonus if the city recycles. Did I do something wrong .or something insight-fully correct ? Was there a greater good ?

Don't get me wrong, while I'm given to fantasy I'm not given to delusion. Littering is bad and can totally bring down the whole cosmetic appeal of a city/town. However, it was just me, and my little tiny can of Pepsi besides we are talking about New York, I coulda chucked that can boldly across the platform letting it land where ever it choose,nobody would have done a thing. I really could have been a bad ass about it.

Beleive it or not I spent a good twenty minutes of that train ride debating in my head the correctness of my actions. Finally I came to a resolution/ settlement. The correctness or incorrectness of my actions hinged on a vital piece of information that I did not contain,that information being,how much does a trash worker for the city of New York get paid.

I did some brief research and learned that the average garbage worker in New York gets paid $35,000.

Twitter Revisted

I have to be honest here. I really didn't get Twitter at first, whats the point of tweeting about everyday mundane activities ? Thats actually a trick question. A snap response might be, "its really lame to tweet about cleaning your kitchen" . You know, those types of tweets. Like, " I just picked up my daughter from soccer practice". I thought Twitter was mainly for that purpose and so I was thoroughly not interested, at first.

However if you go a little deeper with the concept you may start to notice some clever possibilities. Possibilities that could work well with your agenda. YES, its important to have some sort of agenda if your going to be on Twitter - I might even venture to say "a cause". Suddenly your a little cooler (depending on your agenda/cause)

The beauty of Twitter in my opinion is that it appeals to people out there like me who have trouble really developing and articulating thoughts "textually" - see thats actually what I mean right there. I think I said what I was trying to say but I'm not sure. Instead your given only 140 characters to express yourself,to share an idea,to promote or whatever. That works for me cause things start to get really fuzzy and unclear after 140 characters if your me.

With Twitter I can take a gorilla warfare approach to self publishing. I can put a thought or idea out there and just run away,call it a tweet,call it a day. Its wooooonderful. Over time there is a trail of tweets and if I tweet enough, rather I intend to or not,people are gonna start to get some basic insights as to who I am and what I'm about.

Tweets can also connect to a bigger picture, it really caters to all of our relatively short attention spans. If I ever really decide to start writing and developing blogs seriously - you would be able to know in advance rather you would enjoy reading them because you've enjoyed many of my tweets etc... twitter is just plain flexible and versatile limited only by your creativity and those 140 characters.

Follow me on twitter for product deals and random blurbs: @creativebargain